Happy Birthday to Me :)

That's right, it's that time of the year. Today I am 28. Not quite old, not quite young. But 28 I am!

{ fig. 1 : my mom & me right after I was born April 25, 1984 }

Throughout my years growing up when thinking about my future, 28 was always the year/age that I just could not wait to get to! I had always figured that my life would have proceeded as follows:

- graduate high school : age 18
- graduate college with my bachelors : age 22
- either continue to grad school or start working in career : age 22-23
- be successful in career & have things all figured out : age 28

Well, had my life not been full of life-changing moments, it would have probably gone just as shown. However, that was not the case and I was always comparing myself to my friends whose lives (thankfully) went in a much more fluid, positive fashion. No matter how proud of them I was (and am) I still felt so far behind...

{ fig. 2 : me and the girls May 2006 }

My life's first major curveball struck my family when I was 16. My father passed away due to medical malpractice. We had just moved to south Florida from northwestern New Jersey two years prior. At that time my Mom was attending Florida Atlantic University to attain her bachelor's degree while working at a pre-school, and I was a few months into my junior year of high school. It was unexpected and caused a great amount of stress emotionally and financially on my mother who then started to work three jobs to support herself and I still living at home.

{ fig. 3 : me and my sister 1988 }

My father and mother both always encouraged my sister and I to go to school, do well, and then go to a good college in order to better ourselves. Being a retired professional musician who had dropped out of school when he was a teenager, my father really wanted a better life for my sister and I. My mother as well. She was a huge influence for me when she started her first year of college when I was seven. It took her over ten years to get her associates and bachelor degrees, but damn did she earn them!

{ fig. 4 : my dad playing his stratocaster on stage (he's on the right) }

All things considered, I did start college directly after graduating from high school. The first one I attended was the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale for Video Production/Film. I loved the hands-on atmosphere and how the majority of my classes took place in studios. I brought my camera with me everywhere and filmed everything my friends and I did. However, about one year in, I dropped out.

After that I worked for awhile before moving cross county to San Diego, California to live with my best friend from high school, Julie. San Diego was amazing! It still holds a piece of my heart. For the most part I just enjoyed my life, releasing some steam and tension from the years prior. I worked at a restaurant and tried a semester at the City College, but it didn't stick.

{ fig. 5 : me on Sunset Cliffs, San Diego 2004 }

Two years after living in San Diego and I moved back to South Florida. I ended up getting back together with an ex-boyfriend who somehow eventually wiggled his way (just kidding, hunny!) into marrying me a few years after I moved back. It was after moving back to Florida that I decided that I really wanted to go back to school, but this time for myself. It was a serious moment. I had no idea what I wanted to major in at first so I took several random and non-random prerequisite courses until I figured it out. My first major back in school was Graphic Design. Once again, I really enjoyed the hands-on classes where you were learning on the computer while designing at the same time. I was doing fantastic in school and learning so much!

Then, lightning decided to strike again. In October of 2009, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 uterine carcinoma sarcoma which is a very aggressive form of uterine cancer. She battled it for nine months until passing, and there were more downs then ups during that time. Denver and I had to take over and soon close her business, there were ICU visits, and no progress showing up in tests whatsoever.

{ fig. 6 : my mom looking fancy holding me 1984 }

We then moved into my parents house in Boca Raton, Florida which was about twenty minutes south of where we were living at the time. I continued going to school. Soon after I changed my major again to Art and fell even more in love with school than I ever had. My art classes were the cathartic release and the exact creative outlet I needed. It became very clear that this is precisely what I need and want to be doing for the rest of my life. I grew up going to Joanne Fabrics every Saturday with my mom, and doing arts and crafts on a non-stop basis. My dad was also a wonderful creative influence on me with his immense passion and extreme talent for music. Art was always my hobby, but until going back to school and taking those art classes did it become so clear that art could be my career.

Not too long after graduating did we decide to move ourselves to Montana to start this business last April. It has been a year of ups and downs, excitements and sorrows. But we are both very excited to see where this business takes us and are really enjoying our jobs and working for ourselves for the first time in a long time!

{ fig. 7 : Denver & me on our 1 year anniversary 2009 }

One of the things my parents were always trying to instill in me was "No matter what you decide to do with your life, make sure it makes you happy. Don't worry about the money. Just do what makes you happy, and everything else will work out."

I am pleased to say that I am finally living that! It's still so new, and we do worry about the money (for now) but we know that it is a wonderful thing we have here. Havok Designs will keep progressing and will be our only means of support in the future. So I guess my life isn't as far behind as I thought it was. Yes, I don't have two degrees only one, but I own my own business, am married to an amazing man, have a pug who also works as a super-secret ninja when not hamming around the house, have moved around and experienced life, and have found my calling! I don't know what else you could possibly ask for when turning 28 :)

{ fig. 8 : Denver & me in Montana 2011 }

I won't be around much today as I will be celebrating my birthday for the first time in two. And I know this post is considerably different from my normal ones, but I do hope that you still found it interesting in some way. Thanks so much for stopping by!